DETECTIVE DARRIN: CHAPTER I

Another day another dollar, huh?  Well, no dollars for quite a while for this detective… Oh no, don't worry… I don't mean it like that!

Few days ago, I solved a mystery involving a murder in Toon Town, Disney. To make things better, Mickey Mouse, the Mascot of Disney, rewarded me and my friends some tickets to Disney World. Because of that, I decided to take a month off and bring my roommates with me too the happiest place on earth…or at least that's what Mickey always yells whenever he opens up the place.  The guy's happy to the point of creepiness, if you ask me.  But what can you expect, He's Disney.

Ah, I didn't introduce myself did I? My name's Darrin, Darrin Vindiola. If you want look for me, find the guy wearing an old black golf cap backwards. A bit more info about me; I'm a 20 year old nerd who was appointed to be a detective for the Cartoon world. How'd I get the job? To be honest, I have no Idea; I was just randomly picked by the Cartoon world's capital, Toonoplis, to be a detective.

Detectives are badly needed in this universe due to an increase in murders in Toonopolis and all the other countries in the cartoon universe. Whether by people from cartoons, anime, comics, videogames, or even simple doodles from amateur cartoonists, anyone can be a victim and due to some unknown force, and cartoons are to remain dead unless the murderer is found guilty and finally confesses his or her crime. It is then the Cartoon will be brought back to life. Unfortunately, the cartoons drawn by amateur artists, aka the doodles, are only middle to low class, and once they're dead, they remain dead.

Well, I hope you know a bit about who I am and what the Cartoon Detectives are. Past all of the dangerous things I have to do, the grotesque sights I've seen and the frightening cases I had to solve, this job is actually pretty fun. I've met plenty of my favorite toons that I am a big fan of yesterday and today! Overall, there's never a dull moment when you're a detective.

Well, back on topic, it was an exciting day here in my penthouse apartment. I walked to my desk sipping my coffee, finishing up my business and putting together my office supplies.

"Good morning Master Darrin." My maid, Emi said.

Emi was, as I said my anime maid. Hey… I know what you're thinking right now, you sicko. It was actually my partner who hired a maid to live with us… he always did have an attraction towards maids, especially if they were anime maids. However, unlike my partner, I try to not to give our maid a boatload of work.  Emi's sweet, but she's a bit too naïve and overworks herself.  But, she's got a kind soul and I'm honored to have her in my employ.

"Good morning Emi." I replied "But please, just call me Darrin; I'm a pal not a slave driver."

I've always insisted Emi to just call me Darrin. I always feel awkward whenever she calls me master.  I mean, she's practically family.

"Very well Ma- Er… Darrin." Emi corrected herself "You're up early today."

"Well, today's a very big day for us. You see, good ol' Mickey gave me some free tickets for solving a murder case." I grinned. I snatched a Donald duck butt hat from the closet and put it on.

"Today… I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!"

"Oh…" Emi said quietly. "So… when will you be leaving?"

"Well, the plane's leaving this noon. Ah, yes, nothing like going off to a warmer climate in the winter… just me, Mouseboy…. Whoa, are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm fine…," sniffled Emi.  So… do you want breakfast?"

It was no challenges for me to be able tell that Emi was losing the fight to choke back her tears in front of me. How could I tell? Well, being an anime 'toon, she had a sudden transformation from a somewhat anatomically correct female human to a short, cute, bigheaded, crying little girl.
    
Emi walked back to the stove, pouting up a storm. Sheesh, did she really think I was leaving her behind while we were in the happiest place on earth?  What kind of cruel employer does she take me for?!

"Hey, don't cry Emi, I asked Mickey to give me an extra ticket." I handed Emi her ticket. "If you wanted to come, you should have just said so."

Emi smiled at me with tears of joy in her eyes, and gave me the biggest hug an anime girl ever gave a guy. "Thank you Darrin! I'll go get packed now!" She yelled with excitement.

"You do that Emi, I'll just finish off this coffee and we'll be set," I said as she sprinted off to pack.

Phew… I thought I wouldn't need that extra ticket. If I didn't, I would have used my partner's ticket.

"HEY DARRIN, ARE YOU READY TO SET COURSE TO DISNEY WORLD?!" Speak of the devil, for walking out of his room was my half black and white old-time, half anime partner, himself, Mouseboy.

"Ah, good morning Mouseboy!" I greeted "Yessir I can't wait!"

Mouseboy walked into the kitchen and grabbed a box of cereal, grabbed a handful and stuffed it into his mouth.

"Ah, it's been a long time since we've been there huh?" My partner mumbled with a mouth full of Lucky Charms, "It seems like it was only yesterday when we last went."

"Actually it was last year…" Darrin corrected "Yep, it's going to be fun and there's no work to do, so I think we're all good to-"

It was then I heard a knock or rather a bang on the door.

"Darrin, open up, this is urgent!" A female voice called out from the other side.

I sighed… well so much for 'no work to do.' I opened the door to meet a fellow Cartoon detective. The detective was a rather attractive female of Japanese descent, and like me, was a real worlder. The woman wore a black jacket, with a pink and a sleeveless shirt underneath. Her pants had rips and on her feet were boots.

"Oh, er… Hey Reina." I greeted sheepishly. Yes I had a crush on her… but she was unaware of it and I was way too nervous to confess any inkling of feelings towards her yet.

"Darrin, this is urgent! There have be…" Reina trailed off as she gave me a confused look. "Why are you wearing a duck butt on your head?"

"Whoops… I guess I forgot to remove it!" I said with a beet red face.  What the H-E double hockey sticks was I thinking, wearing a duck's behind on my head in front of the girl of my dreams?!

"Er, well… I'm going to Disney World," I explained "and what better way to have the Disney spirit than to have Donald's rump up on my head?"

"Smooth Darrin, reaaal smooth…," I muttered under my breath to myself.

"… Why am I not surprised?" Reina handed me an some papers. "Anyway, you really need to look at this!"

I accepted the papers and skimmed through them… I flipped through each page, getting more confused as I read on.

"Huh? Toons being killed in a chain of murders?" I read aloud.

"Eh, whatcha got there, boss?" Mouseboy asked walking up to me still eating out of the cereal box. "Some new case?"

"Yes, and this case has gotten me really confused." Reina said, "Apparentally, this murderer is stealing brains from all sorts of 'toons. Check the witness report."

I shuffled through the papers until I got what I needed. From what I read, the first chain of murders took place in the lower levels of the apartment we were residing in… Oooh boy.

"These reports seem to be similar…" I thought aloud "This murderer is a guy with a trench coat, he walks into a room, a scream is heard, and then he leaves, correct?"

"That's what it says right there." Reina nodded,

"Well, looks like we're dealing with one sick son of a female dog, huh?" Mouseboy said after one big gulp of Lucky Charms. "Did anyone ever report this guy leaving the apartment buildings?"

Thinking for a minute, Rena finally shook her head

"Nothing in the report says so."

"Hmmm… then for all we know, this murderer's still in this building." My partner suggested "Heck, he could even be snatching some brains as we speak."

Upon hearing that comment I could have sworn I felt my stomach do a 360.

"DANG IT MOUSEBOY!" I cried out "DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF ME?! Now I'm scared… How the heck am I going to sleep tonight?!"

I quickly headed for my desk "You know what? Forget it! I'm not taking this case. EMI!"

Emi walked out of her room, carrying a large suitcase. "Yes, Master Darrin?"

"The trip's off! I'm not stepping foot out of this room until this guy's brought to justice! Oh, and stop calling me master! We're friends, remember?!"

Reina put her hand over her face muttering something to herself as Mouseboy and Emi both gave me shocked looks. For a while the room was silent until…

Knock, Knock, Knock!

"THE KILLER!" I exclaimed ducking underneath my desk.

"Darrin, you're being ridiculously paranoid!" Reina called out to me. I quickly motioned her to be quiet.

"Shhh, Reina! The killer will know we're here! But you're right though…"

I pulled my special magnifying glass out of the drawer and slowly crept up to the door.

"I'm being too cowardly… well no more! I Darrin M. Vindiola shall be the one who will bring this murderer to justice!"  I tried to convince myself.  Heck, it was all I could do to stop myself from voiding my bowels all over the floor.

Quickly opening the door, the killer had walked into the room, trench-coat flowing behind him.  With a loud battle cry, I quickly brought down my magnifying glass onto the killer's head… well, actually, I almost did.  Before I could deliver the blow to the head the figure grabbed my wrist, twisted it around and threw me on the floor faster than I could say King Dedede loves cake.

"Oh, Uh… Heh heh… I wasn't trying to knock you or anything, just uh…" I said sheepishly, "….Please don't kill me…"

"Well, I come to find professional help with a medical emergency and I find myself being attacked by some spaz with a magnifying glass and…" The figure paused and gave me an odd look  "...is that a duck's butt on your head?"

"Oh… well yea." I explained "Haven't you been to Disney World?"

"Yeah, but if that were the case you'd be wearing Mickey mouse ears."

"Well they sell these babies there too. It's all based on this 4-D attraction there."

Mouseboy jumped into the conversation with excitement "Ah yea, it's the one with Donald Duck isn't it?"

Emi was eager to join in as well "And at the end, Donald duck goes crashing through a wall and his butt is sticking out."

"Heh heh. That's priceless." I chuckled to myself.

However, the man's stare of disbelief did not fade. "So between having funny ears on your head and the behind of a duck on your head, you choose to…"

"Ah, don't dwell too much of them." Reina told this man "They're not the smartest folks around."

"Whoa, Reina, you know the Killer?!" Mouseboy exclaimed.

"He's not the killer, baka!" Reina exclaimed in Japanese.

"Hmmm… He doesn't look like a killer…" Emi observed.

"This is Dr. Owen A. Fraser M.D." Reina introduced "I hired him to help us with the case."  

"Looks like she's right" I thought to myself. I had mistaken his lab coat for a trench coat

"Yes. Anyway, I have found something interesting upon research. If you would come along with me…" Owen said while bringing me back to my feet.

"But you've must have traveled far, can be of assistance?" Emi asked Owen with her usual kind hospitality, "You want a cup of coffee? Tea?"

"I got a drink before I departed." Owen responded.  "Thank you, though, I truly appreciate the kind gesture.

"You must want something." Emi blushed "I can take my clothes off if you want me to…"

Owen face turned the darkest hue of red as Reina shot me a glare that could freeze the fires of Hell itself. I then shot a glare at Mouseboy.

"How many times have I told you not to TEACH HER THAT CRAP?!" I yelled angrily at Mouse boy.

"Hey, if you have an anime maid, you gotta make do with what you have." Mouseboy said with a devilish grin on his rodent face.

"JUST COME WITH ME!"  Owen, yelled, trying to regain his composure.

And so we were off to solve another mystery… God, I really wanted to go to Disney World…but, a detective's work is never done.  And the four of us drove to the hospital.

Now, my first impression of Dr. Fraser was that he was one of those all business types, but Owen turned out to be a nice guy as we got to know each other on the ride to the hospital.

"So…is your maid always this um…friendly?"  Owen asked me from across the interior of Reina's van.

"No," I replied.  "She's usually very shy when guys come over, but then again, she has had to spend a lot of time with my partner, Mouse boy, for a while and to be honest, he's kind of a perv.

"Oh, I was suspicious of that when she asked…um…said…umm…to…" Owen tried to say, his face turning a dark fuchsia.  He glanced at her and gave an awkward wave.  Emi glanced back at him and immediately started to feverishly blush, as well.

Suddenly, the van hit the annoyingly large pothole on 58th avenue and we all got chaotically bounced around the interior.

I was feeling okay up until the point when I was on the floor of a van with a mouse's behind in my face.   Mouseboy had landed on me in a rather inconvenient area.  I threw him off and got up only to spot that Owen had landed right in Emi's um…well, I'll give you a hint.  Girls have two of them, they lie in the chest region, and Owen's face had landed right in between them.
Needless to say, Owen came to.  His expression was priceless, actually.  He opened his eyes and looked kinda comfy, then realized where his head had landed and quickly sprang up, face beet red and nose bleeding.

"Oh jeez, I'm so sorry.  I, I, I-" he said embarrassingly while helping her up.

And awkward silence permeated the van's interior until a certain perverted rodent busted it.

"Jackpot!"  Mouseboy yelled out at Owen.

The silence lasted about a second longer, and then we all burst out in laughter, except Reina, who quickly slammed Mouseboy's face against the dashboard.

"We're here," Reina said with an exasperated voice.  I could tell she was very disapproving of the events that just took place.

"Come on," said Owen.  "There's something you need to see."

We walked down a long hallway.  While we were going, I decided to try and find out more about the doctor I had just met.

"So what's caused your involvement in all this, Dr. Fraser?"  I asked as we walked.

"Well, Detective Vindiola, I was the one to receive the first victims of this string of murders," said Owen.   "I'm a real-worldertoon trauma surgeon, you see." He said.

"Wow, I haven't met a doctor for real worlders and cartoons before."  I said in disbelief.

"Well, that's because I'm the only one in the city."  Owen replied.  "All the other doctors at medical school only concern themselves with the real worlder specialization."  "They throw out cartoon medicine as they consider cartoon anatomy illogical."  "But it's not, it simply requires a creative spin on techniques we've seen before."  "By the way, call me Owen."  He said with a friendly smile.

"A creative spin on techniques we've seen before?"  I asked, baffled.

"Well take a cartoon that's suffering a severe cold, for example," Owen said.  "A quick dose of hot sauce should get the cold right out of its system."  "It's a matter of simplifying elements of the issues, detective."

"Call me Darrin," I said.  "Detective's too formal."

"Of course," said Owen with a smile.  "Now look at this poor fella," Owen said while pointing at a man on a stretcher.  "This specimen was delivered to me about a minute before your friend invited me over."  "What can you tell at a glance?"  Owen asked me.

I looked at the immobile person and replied "Well, there's no blood, so he must be a cartoon."  "By the very human-like, non rubber hose anatomy, he must be an anime man."  "He's not breathing and the monitors show that he has no pulse, so he must be deceased, but there are no signs of struggle or battery, so he must have been caught off guard, which is what I'm deducing by the look of surprise on his face."  I said, studying the toon.  "What could have caused this?!"  I yelled out, baffled.

"Very good deduction, Darrin" Owen said.  "You're very qualified for your position."  "This was caused by the brain being stolen from the cranium."

"So that's why you brought me to look at this dead guy in a tube!"  I said confidently.

"That's a CAT Scan, dolt," Owen said, annoyed.  "It takes slices of the bodies for a more thorough analysis."

"This thing slices stuff up?!"  I yelled freaked out.  "What the heck kind of hospital is this?!"

"It's just pictures of different parts of the body!  You're a freakin detective!  Learn these terms!"  Yelled Owen.

"Blah blah blah science," (now I was starting to get annoyed) "Skip to the interesting part, doc."  I said impatiently.

"Well, when the scan got to the head region, one thing remained constant; there was nothing where the brain should have been."  "I performed an EKG and there was no brain activity, which proved my theory to be true," said Owen.

"EKG?!"  I exclaimed.  I always get abbreviations mixed up.  "The Embryo of a Kangaroo God?!"

"It's going to be a long day,"  Owen said with his face in his palm.

Suddenly, a canister spraying tear gas came soaring in. We were blinded!